I'm not the percent you think survives..

strung out again

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 19:37:48 GMT

Wow. I haven't updated all spring break. That's quite shocking. I took some hawt pictures, and maybe I'll post them here. Jk they aren't hawt because I'm in them and my face is ugly so disregard this whole first sentence that talks about the "hawt pictures" okay? Good. Anyways..I'm sitting next to Jessica right now and she only has one arm now because her other arm was broken in a tragic snow mobil accident. Hasahsahshahsahsha jk she hurt it in a snowboarding accident because Shaun like pushed her down this hill or something and she "hyper-extended" her joint in her arm or something I don't know I zoned out because I don't understand anatomical terms like that. They confuse me so my mind wanders and I think about other things like how my foot is asleep and I need to move it. Hold on. Okay, I positioned myself and I'm "back in action". Ha. Missy's mom said that she's "back in action with her camera". I thought that was really funny. Hmmm I think I might make a new LJ. jk i won't because I'm too lazy to do that. But I'm gonna go because my mind is wondering to the max. ANYWAYS. I'm gonna go because yeah. Oh and btw spring break consisted of lots of fun. <3

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 13:48:45 GMT

I just found out Sarah's a lesbian. That's interesting. ha. I have to go though because I think I'm going to make a myspace. goodbye. <3

it's there.

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 19:32:05 GMT

"Oh what a world what a world". Janelle is a lyrical genious. Just kidding. Ummm yesterday was fun. I went horseback riding and when Leo got in the ring with all the other horses some crazy insane alcoholic lady said Leo was causing a rucuss (sp?). What a psycho. She said we had to take him out of the ring because he was making all the other horses crazy, and she made me and Missy run crazily to the ring just to take Leo out..it was horrible. Thennnnn..hold on Ms. Shawver is talking brb..

...hollah. Kaitlyn made an LJ and forgot her password. jk she remembered it. I need to help her with her layout or somehting because it's going to be so plain and simple and boring and I can't handle that so I'm going to help her. Anyways I have to go now because I'm really far behind in everything. bye guys. <3

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 19:59:10 GMT

No time to update. Maybe later. =( Bell just rang..I wanted to update too. Ms. Shawver said "Shut down!" so I guess that means I have to go? Byebye.

You are a regular artist.~!

Sat, 19 Feb 2005 07:11:30 GMT

Tonight was a blast. AN INSANE AND HARSH RADIOACTIVE BLAST. THe kind of blast that me and Brittany can create to melt the entire world because we're both so fucking hot together. jk, but tonight was fun. I went to the Factory for a split second and saw my Party Buddy Catherine there. That was fun...then we went to the Founder's Day Carnival and Jill and Drew were there. That was also fun except I'm going to sue the lady because she forced us to go on the ride a second time when she didnt even ask us and I thought we were going to die in a freak-accident. It was so scary and I cried but not like sad-cried. Like because of the pressure and the speed and stuff my eyes teared and got all watery/teary-eyed. It happens to me a lot when I go on fast rollercoasters. Happened 2 times on Dueling Dragons in Islands of Adventure lol. Anyways it was a fun night and im going to sleep cuz i gotta wake up early for this stupid Kiwanis breakfast in the ass-end of nowhere at like 9 AM. Crazy. <3

Fri, 18 Feb 2005 04:01:56 GMT

Tonight was fun. I hung out with Amanda and Kris. It was quite interesting to say the least. We went to
"Toys R Us" and bought a Barbie and it's now sitting in my car pole-dancing/riding/straddling my gear-shift. It's fun. And my emergency brake is dressed up like a woman now too.

Uhh...we went to this Thai restaurant and I got Tom Kha Kai soup, and half of a Chicken Pad Thai. It was pretty good. Other than that I'm totally exhausted and I don't even feel like doing my homework, and that was like the one important thing I actually had to do today, and now I don't think I'm not even going to do it. I may but I probably won't because I actually think I'm going to bed now. Like right now because it's taking my forever to think and type and yeah. Oh god I just completely forgot that I have to type a 2-page paper on what Satan's role in modern-day society is. Like why? Why does it matter? He's evil and bad and tempts people and makes them do bad things according to the good book. THEEND. That's all there really is to say about him. I can't write 2 pages on that. It's stupid. I have to sleep now and work later because I'm a true procrastinator and I'm completely exhausted and I'm falling asleep while typ

haha i just dozed off for a second. I had to go back and edit the entry to actually finish it. How sad. Anyways as I was saying I'm falling asleep while typing as you can tell, so I'll see you all later. <3

You'll understand why I can never go back to Seaworld..

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 04:29:09 GMT

Ha. That Subject title makes me giggle so much. I <3 Family Guy. =) Anyways...

So tonight I was at the beach, and this insane bum asked me for a cigarette. I gave him one then he just randomly started telling me how's he's a "mad dog straight 'outta hell". I was like, um wtf..? So then he started talking about Madonna randomly and said I don't want to know a blonde hair blue-eyed witch. I said "Umm why not?", and he COMPLETELY freaked out and started laughing. Then he said "They're both married. The blonde and the red-head". I was like "Excuse me..?", and he was like "My daughters. They're both married". By this point I'm like wtf is wrong with this man, he needs serious help. Later, he said he found 230 dollars worth of pot on Federal Highway the other day, just laying there on the median. He wants me to try and sell it for him, but he said it won't be "ready" until November, even though it's "fresh" and "potent" now according to him. I asked him where the pot was and he said he would tell me when I found a buyer. I was like sorry I don't smoke pot, but I'll look around. NOT. He was so fking crazy. OH. Then...he asked me if I was scared by him, I said no, and he randomly interrupted me and told me he was from the Bronx, New York. I was like uhh..okay. And he goes "NO SHIT!" and he got this crazy look on his face and he got all crack-head looking. THENNNNNNNNNN...he randomly told me "You ain't seen nothin' yet". I was like omg this guy is the crazy bum who's violent and might kill me. So, I decided to get the fuck out of there but I didn't want to just drive off and end up finding out he has a gun and he'd like shoot me or something. So he told me he had a Bronx shirt in the bushes and I asked to see it. He went into the bushes and I got the fuck out of there right away. I was so scared. OH. And btw, his name was "Bow". Short for "Bimbow" apparently he said. He's 73 too apparently. Sure...<3

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 19:57:33 GMT

Today's Valentine's day. Horrible. It's another day where i sit here and think about how I'm so romantically challenged. It's disgusting how un-dating material I am. I'm too vague and complicated for people to handle. And I'm kind of moody randomly. And when I'm actually myself, it's usually not stable or predictable. Yeah sometimes the actual things me and my friends do are predictable but the way I think and act isn't. I don't know. It's too weird to think about right now cuz I'm not really in a good mood.

Today Keely withdrew from school. =/ No one's in our school anymore. Sarah: Gone. Jason: Gone. Keely: Gone. Paul: Never here a.k.a. GONE. Christian: Gone (Even though I didn't really know the kid at all but I do know that he <3s Allie Barron apparently). It sucks. I just want to graduate and get the fuck out of this school as soon as possible. Too many good and bad memories to handle. I just want to leave so I can go to California and get on with my life. I feel like living here is holding back part of me and just restricting me. I don't even really know why but it's just how I feel. I just can't wait until May 22nd. I think that's graduation day but I'm not 110% sure. Anyways I g2g because school is over. Bye.

i love to swiiiiiim

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 19:41:43 GMT

i havent updated in a while.

Yesterday was a really..strange day. I can't put my finger on whether it was good or bad. A lot happened but last night i hung out with Julie and Missy and that was fun. But school was really weird and when i came home it was really weird. I dont know. I should go because im in computer class and i dont feel good so i think i might take a nap or something. k..bye

And all is right in the jungle-

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 22:02:36 GMT

Updating sooner than I imagined.

I was at Zion waiting for Kaitlyn. I was sitting in my car just waiting, when all of the sudden I see a white car pull up right behind me. Like blocking me so I couldn't back out. I was like okay...what...? Then I realized it and I was nervous, sad, and upset all at once. Vicky was sitting directly behind me, and I couldn't ignore her or just drive away. I was so sad and upset but yet I felt so relieved and so happy. It was like I was dreaming.

She got out of her car, and I got out of mine. I wanted to cry and I don't know why because I probably even couldn't have even if I wanted to. I was so happy to see her, that I just wanted to cry and tell her that I love her and that I missed her. We didn't say anything and just rushed up to each other and hugged. We hugged for about a minute straight. Without letting go, or saying anything. Her blonde hair and green eyes just eased me, and made me feel like everything was fine again, and like life was going to be okay now. I hugged her so tightly. She smelt so good. I wanted to tell her how much I love her. I wanted to tell her how mad at her I was. I wanted to just tell her everything that was happening to me, and everything from April of last year up til' now. But all that could come out of my mouth were stupid questions like "how are you?", or "how have you been?!", or even "how are you and Hanani?". But then I calmed down, and told her how much I loved her and how I missed her terribly. She missed me more than I could have ever imagined. She told me she loved me and she needed me. I need her too.

We talked for about an hour about life and how everything has changed. It wasn't awkward or tense. I think I got real quiet though, because she asked me what was wrong and why I didn't like her anymore. I told her I never hated her or didn't like her, but I just thought for a while that she did something that hurt me deeply. She explained to me the situation and told me she loved me more than anything else in the world. She said she would never say anything like that to hurt me, because she couldn't do it no matter how mad at me she was. Whether she really is telling the truth or lying, I don't care anymore. I love her and I miss her so much.

I'm visiting her at work tomorrow, and we're going to sit down and talk when she gets off. We're going to catch up on everything and just be friends again. It's amazing that you don't realize how much you actually love someone until you see them again after a long absense of their presence in your life. It sounds incredibly gay and cheesy, but it's so true. We hugged again before she left for another 1-2 minutes straight and didn't say a word during the hug, because we knew it was so special and too good to waste with words or icebreakers. We both left smiling, and knowing more about each other than we did before. I miss her. So much. <3

I got static in my head

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 19:26:45 GMT

So I went to church the other night. It was sooooo fun. Seriously. I met these people who I would never think would be at church. Seriously. One guy said I was a "good looking person" but that he thought I was gay. And he was't gay by the way. Isn't that super weird? How some guy thought I was hot and thought I was gay? And yet he wasn't even gay??? WEIRD. I was offended highly. I was like fk you I'm not gay woman. And he was all oh. SORRY. And he was high. Then we left in the middle of church to go smoke in the backyard area. It was so weird. One kid was smoking a black & mild and we were all smoking talking about drugs and stuff and how bad they are. He said he wanted to try heroin and I rolled my eyes and said no you don't. But he did. Isn't that sad? =( Like who says "I really wanna try heroin"? Like seriously it's so sad. Anyways...

Yesterday was boring. I went to Jimmy's basketball game and me and Missy went into this circular green climby thing and we said we felt infinite. It was really nice. We're going to go back there sometime soon with a bunch of people and take pictures of everyone in the green tube looking up at the moon. It's going to be great. So anyways, we went to the park and had fun. It was cool. Uhhhh we went to Underground Reptiles and saw a bunch of really ugly and gross and scary snakes and spiders. It was so scary, I kept thinking there were going to be snakes loose in the parking lot, who would try to attack me or something. I feared for my existence. Ummm.....I said something about my joints hurting when I wake up on a cold morning and how I feel like an old person because I think I have arthritis, and Keely said something about how me and Missy will be really happy then. And we will. =) Missy's already like 90% old-people, but I'm only like 30%, because I only hurt when it's cold outside, and break into rashes when there's a chemical reaction with my medicine. WEIRD. So I still have 60% to catch up on with Missy.

Hmm. Today was okay I guess. People keep asking me if I work at a camp in Boca, and I keep saying no. That doesn't seem to change things though, because people keep asking me and I keep saying no. Oh well. Tonight I'm going to hang out with Missy, and hopefully Kaitlyn =). I hope we go somewhere fun and feel infinite again like how I felt the other night. I can't describe it but it was cool. I didn't take my medicine yesterday and I still had a lot of fun. I finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower and I like it a lot. It really impacted me. It kind of has an underlying tone to it. It kind of makes you think about life a lot. I dunno I can't really explain it. So anyways, I'm hoping to go out tonight to do something fun. Diana wanted to hang out and so did Courtney I think, and so does Kaitlyn, and so does Hayley but whatever she'll probably sell me out in some way or another. Oh well. I'm going to have fun doing whatever. I'll make my own fun. Anyways I have to go now because I'm in computer class and we're about to begin doing work in the magical world of Microsoft Excel. I'll update later tonight. I think.

Oh btw, Keely and half of my Drama class came to the conclusion that I look like a crack-head. The way I look as well as the way I talk. Like a literal crack-head. Hashashahshshashshshshshahshahshahsha. I'm going to start doing crack I think jus to see how I look when I do it so I can take a picture and compare it to how I normally look. jk but it'd be an experience that's for sure.

I was jus' joshing.

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 19:54:45 GMT

Godddd. I'm so tired for some reason. And I'm in the mood to go on an adventure. An adventure like NO OTHER. It would be so much fun right about now and I think I just might tonight. Like maybe stand up on the back of a pickup truck while going through a tunnel at 100 mph with my arms out at my sides. That would be cool. Oh man, the life of a wallflower is so fun. GOD. Janelle and Kaitlyn are trying to figure out why I write in a journal and exactly what I write. I told them to shut up because they like it they know it. And Janelle is typing her college application and Kaitlyn is trying to play music on Launch, and Carl is just staring at me awkwardly. And it's so uncomfortable and ugly right now. I wanna goooo. 4 minutes left til' liberation.

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 19:52:23 GMT

I'm in computer class now, and once again I have to deal with the presence of Janelle. She's incredibly annoying and ugly and I hate it. She's a quite fun gal actually, I lied. She's cool and I'm so happy to be her friennnnd. I'm going to hang out with Courtster in 10 minutes. It's going to be a blast I can just feel it. Jk I don't wanna say that 'cuz I'll end up jinxing our hang-out time, and we'll like crash or something. I just know it's going to be bad. jk again it'll be fun. Goddddd I need to get out of here. I have a sore throat. And I really hope it doesn't keep raining tonight. I wanna go out tonight and I don't want to deal with the stupid ugly rain because it always seems to ruin my night. It makes me so saddd. Sunday I'm going to see Elektra with Missy, and we're gonna watch Daredevil I think. But I have to go because it's almost time to go. So bye.

Tonight's game is cancelled---

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 04:42:37 GMT

Let's see. Uhhhh tonight I went to Barnes & Nobles with Courtster, and purchased a copy of "The Perks of being a Wallflower", or something along those lines. I don't really know a lot about it but it's on the recommendation-list for English, and Courtster and Etheridge said it's good. So I decided to read it. It seems really cool, because I really like the cover's design, and i read parts of it, and it's really good. Gosh, I need to sleep or something. I'm so out of it, and I need to sleep I think.

OH. Elektra comes out tomorrow. I'm so excited. It looks so yummy, and I <3 Jennifer Garner tons, so I definitely wanna see it. I'm going to too. I think Sunday maybe. Anyways, I should get going because I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. Byyye.

It smells like shhhhhhhhhawver in here.

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 16:20:56 GMT

oh happy day. Oh happy dayyyy. Man I'm so bored. I didn't take my medicine yesterday and it was totally crazy. My vision kept blurring and shyt and i fell asleep without my sleeping pill at like 11. It was really weird. Goddddd i'm so bored. I'm supposed to be in drama class but im being a complete rebel. I lied to the teacher and told her i had to go to the computer lab to do something super important. Ha. I'm so out-of-control it's not even funnnny. Man. Anywayyyyys. Tonight I'm going to get a jump-drive i think. Because yesterday i was too poor to afford one. So today I fail computer class. Isn't that a sad story? =( Ohhhh. We're poor for a week because my family apparently overspent their money and now we have to carpool and eat beans and franks for a week. I feel like i'm living in some crowded appartment complex in like the industrial revolution, and i'm starving and fighting just for a scrap of meat. hahaha. just kidding definitely. But it's weird I'm broke. as a jooooke. Anyways I have to go nowww. bye.

the female lineagegegegegeggeeeeee

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 22:18:54 GMT

the sisterhood.

it sounds like a bunch of superstitous garbage to me. ha.

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 19:55:31 GMT

completely bored. I'm in computer class right now and Janelle's being stupid and weird. It's so cool. Today Keely told me to be myself for just 5 seconds. I thought that was hella funny. And I laughed out loud and on the inside too. But whateva man that's ancient history holmes.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Guess what. I think I might be going sky-diving or bungee jumping with my dad this weekend/next weekend. We were talking about it and it would be so much fun you can't even begin to understand. It would be so cool to go bungee jumping, except i'd be afraid that the rope would break or it'd be too long and i'd just slam right into the cement. Haha. That would be so funny. Oh gosh I'm so extremely bored. I need to do something fun this week. Something completely liberating and just fun. I think maybe I'll like randomly drive to Orlando. Weird beard. Kaitlyn just said out loud she hasn't been to Disney in a while, right after i typed the sentence about going to Orlando. Like we both randomly had the same thought; to go to Orlando and go to Disney World this week/weekend. She said she really wants to go, and we just talked and we're oficially going ...... k i have to go bye.

Gestating with all the other rats..dirty..yes...tru...ha.

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 06:30:43 GMT

I don't really know how to describe what's going on with me right now. It's kind of crazy. People say you can always be around other friends or people, and still feel alone. I don't want to get on my LJ, decide to update, and talk about all this drama or my deep feelings, because honestly I know half the people who read my journal want to read a funny story or hear something cool. If someone reads some long drawn-out entry about how I'm depressed or sad or something, it's hard to really care about it, or comment on the update at all. SO. I'm not going to sit here saying all this shyt that makes me look dramatic and like a stereotypical troubled 18 year-old. Let's just say I don't feel normal or right, and right now I feel so uneasy and just disconnected that I can't even try to put it into words, or even get somewhat of a statement/point across.

So, I'll talk about something people wouldn't actually mind reading.

Well, the other day I was in the line @ the drive-thru Farm Store place, and some random guy said he liked my music I was playing. "Thanks, sorry I'll turn it down a little I guess", I said, since I guess I was kind of blaring it. He told me it was okay and that he was enjoying the music. HIGHLY. So THENNNNN....he told me that he owns the 2nd or 3rd biggest bar/alcohol-sale-based establishment in Florida. Riiight. He told me he was Flannigan's son. Flannigan being the man who opened/owned Flannigans/Paranha Pat's. He said he was one of his 3 sons (or 4 sons I don't remember actually), and that he had so much money that all he ends up doing is giving most of it away to charities and towards scholarships or something. He told me he wanted to help me, by giving me a scholarship, money, and he claimed he knew some art head-honcho in Graceland, so he also said he'd get my foot in the door real fast if I just let him help me. OH. And he's leaving on Tuesday or Wednesday to go to Shrilanka (sp?) to help with the Tsunami-relief groups/people over there. Oh, by the way, the only reason I didn't scream "LIAR!" and run away was because he showed me his liscence when I didn't believe him, and he the name on the license said like "____ Flannigan". I don't remember his first name actually, but the picture in the license was definitely himself, and he had the last name Flannigan. ALSO, he looked almost identical to the guy on the Flannigan's signs and stuff, which is a picture of the actualy "Big Daddy", a.k.a., the dad who opened up Flannigan's originally. It was so crazy. I don't know whether or not to believe him. He seemed kinda crazy, but he offered me money before I left, and he told me to look him up sometime, and he said he hangs around the Fisherman's Warf most of the time, and if I trusted him, to see him there sometime to arrange the process of establishing my name, and getting my foot in the door to show-business. Pffft. If I believed him 100% I'd definitely meet him there, but he seemed somewhat shady. Who knows man, I could have just turned down millions of dollars and fame for now by saying/thinking that, but I highly doubt it. Anyways long update complete. If anyone actually cares about the entry, go ahead and comment. I dare you. ha.haha =)

<3

Now I see, just how I bleed from you.

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 02:13:06 GMT

Well..tonight was a pretty bad night overall. I hated everything about it and how everything went. It's hard to explain but I think I expressed myself as much as I possibly could. I know it's hard to hear the truth or something that you don't want to hear sometimes, but it's for the better. I was completely honest and I just hope that it helped things a little bit. I hate that people change, but I accept it, because I mean it's part of growing up. You can't expect to see someone someday when you're like 24 and the last time you saw the person was in 8th grade, and expect them to be the exact same way you remembered them. It sucks but hey it happens I guess. I just wish when everyone changes, it doesn't have to cause a conflict or a wall in the relationship. I completely admit to the fact that I've changed, but I don't really see yet if it was for better or worse. Whatever. I'm not going to hang myself up on it, and I hope other people feel the same way about it.

ANYWAYS. Tonight I was randomly thinking about things. I'm getting so exhausted and stressed thinking about everything at once. It seems like everything is happening all at once, and it's so overwhelming to take it all in at once. SOOO. I was thinking. What if I just woke up tomorrow, packed all my stuff up, and just got on a plane/bus/train to California? I was seriously considering it. I don't have a job, or a place to stay there, or anything. But..it seems so right, right now. I want to just get out of this place. I want to leave this city, this house, these people..everything. I just want to be away from it all, and start out fresh. Although it sounds like a dumb thing to do, I have faith in myself that I'll always make decisions that bring peace of mind. I really hope that I graduate and get out of here alive, in one piece, and sane. I really am dreading 2nd semester. I'm so close to being able to get out, yet I still have 5 more months. Ugly. Oh, the good news is, over spring break, I'm going to California and staying with my cousin. She's going to show me all the different colleges and schools, and I'm going to stay with her for about 4-5 days. She's also going to let me borrow their car, so I can go out and get a feel for the area. I'm really excited. I'm gonna visit my friend Drew, and have him introduce me to his friends so at least I have some sort of friends/associates when I get out there so I'm not completely blinded by the surroundings. It's all going to be so much fun. I can't wait to get out there..I can just tell my life is going to be 1,000x better. <3

And then we'll shop--

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 23:21:31 GMT

So 1 2 3 now baby here we go..

Here we go! Here we go! On a mission undercover and we're in control. Here we go, here we go. Totally spies----------------------show.

I've been keeping company with a ghost..

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 17:57:00 GMT

WOOT I got a new computer for xmas. It's so nice it has a flat panel screen thingie. It's cool. But I have to reinstall Lineage and AIM and AresLite and EQ2 and everything else so isn't that sad? :( And I still have 56k so it's going to take centuries on end for everything to be updated and installed properly. Oh well, C'est la vie. ANYWAYS, I got so much cool stuff for x-mas:

MY AW350M3 L007:

New Dell Computer- What what? Back off playah'.
~
Harmonium- Vaness' fool.
~
Gold M3D4L-Da Donnaz
~
L0st In Tr4n5l4710N- don't hate on Ms. Coppola
~
$50 on this credit card/gift card mastercard thing. it's weird but cool.
~
25 buck-a-roos from my auntie dearest.
~
10 fucking dollars from my grandm4. RIP.
~
A handmade homemade candycane...mmm.
~
A Cat woman comic..weird.
~
H3R0- That's right bitches--kung fu style right here.
~
Umm....fuck I forgot what else I got.
~
j/k I remembered now. j/k again I didn't..fuck.
~
j/k for the last time I did remember. A book about traveling to "Great Britain"..pshhhh.
~
A REALLY UGLY AND COOL WATCH.
~
OH! FUCK! A beautiful digital camera! Heck yeah.
~
Hold on I have to go pee.
~
Oh, a Circuit City $15 gift card.
~
A bunch of walnuts/nuts and an orange in my stalking. WEIRD.
~

that's all folks. kthxttylguysbye143143143<3

The world is a turn and your heart won't return..

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 16:29:29 GMT

Oh my god, I'm such a fucking crackhead. Last night I don't know what was wrong with me..I went to the bathroom at like 3:30-4:00-'ish, and when I got to the door, I got dizzy, my vision blurred, and I completely blacked out. I heard this loud crashing sound but I couldn't move or anything. A couple seconds later I opened my eyes and I was on the ground. I FUCKING FELL FLAT ON MY HEAD ON THE FLOOR. I just randomly fainted/passed out. It was so fucking weird. I like thought the crash was something else but I opened my eyes and I was just laying there on the ground..chillin'. I was like oh fuck man. My dad thought I was drunk or stoned. Hahahahaaha. Funny shit. But now my head hurts and I think I may have a concussion because I'm semi-nauscious and my head is pounding like crazy. Anyways I g2g byyyyye.

He sits behind a desk of majogany

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 08:05:50 GMT

Super fast update/entry, because I'm super tired and I want to go to bed. Jk, I actualy wanna see who the monster really is in Scooby-Doo, because it's coming to it's wonderful climactic ending. I'm so nervous and yet excited at the same time.

Soooo...I dunno. Christmas Break = L<3VE 4 EVA. Seriously I'm so incredibly happy about being gone for 2 weeks. It makes me happier than a clam. I need this break, because when I go back to school, I have to start busting my ass, since I'll be fucking kicked out of the house or grounded for all eternity, unless I manage to get amazingly great grades by the end of the upcoming quarter(s)/semester. So anyways I hate busting my ass in school to do good. OH. And my parents are telling me I need to get a job. I don't wanna work at Starbuck's because..gross. Durrell is gonna start working @ the Deerfield one again in another month or month-and-a-half, so I'd be so weirded out if he was working there when I'm working there. I don't want to think about it, because I'm starting to throw up a little bit in my mouth just thinking about it. NASTY. Anyways guys, I should get going since I'm completely tired (jk again..Scooby-Doo has 5 min left to it!!), and I need to wake up at like fucking 7-9 A.M. to go "Christmas - Shopping" with the father figure who lives under the same roof as I. Haha, proper English is wonderful to master. It makes me sooo very happy. Okay....

Tonight I went to a Christmas party thing at Missy's dad's work. By the way, he owns Advantage Pest Control Services, so Missy decided to show me 2 humongeous VATS of poisonous/fatally-wounding chemicals/pesticides. Bahhhhguh. It was so scary..because I felt the fumes of death forcing their way into my chest and straight into my heart and/or lungs. After that, we got Keely, saw Sarah for a split second (she's doing good, she obviously took my brilliant advice--). After that extremely exciting visit, we (Me, Missy, and Keely) went to some "Sound" place. Well "Sound" was in the name somewhere (and no, not Sound Advice). So we found it, then noticed we had an extra 2 hours or something before we could actually see Slapstick Remedy play. SOOO...we went to Taco Bell/KFC (it was all in one building thing), and Keely's mom called when we were in line, and she told her sweet daughter to get the fuck home now. Jk she didn't say it quite like that, but close enough! Man, I need to sleep..OH! After that, I took Keely home, then me and Missy wandered the streets aimlessly, and took these amazingly cool/awesome pictures. She'll hopefully post them all later because I loved them. After that, we went to her "real" house, then I dropped her off at her fake/imaginary house, and I went to Keely's house, woke her mom up, got Keely in the car, and visited this disgusting and memorable place. BAD memories, not the good kind. Anyways byyyyyye I'm tired and mad because Scooby-Doo just ended and all I saw was that Scooby got a lifetime supply of Scooby-Snax. HAHAHA. Now the gang can't bribe him with any of those damned things anymore, so they're all gonna get killed and taken advantage of, because Scooby won't have any inscentive to help them out. HAHAHA LOSERS. Byyyye. <3

Hypno-toads give me nightmares. =(

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 04:03:22 GMT

Awkward. I don't like the tension I'm feeling right now. It's completely uncomfortable and I want it to stop. It's like everyone's pulling in different directions.

Anyways, apparently Sarah is home now, but she's "unable to come to the phone" and I'm guessing she's unable to come anywhere NEAR the phone what-so-ever. I hope you're okay Sarah. Chipper up. You know how they're all "Save Ferris" in -Ferris Bueler's Day Off- (sp?)? Well I'm going to make flyers and posters that say; "Save Sarah!!", isn't that so incredibly exciting? I have to go guys. I'm going to fail Government tomorrow and be in lots of trouble because I also failed English for the quarter 'cuz of my notebook. Doesn't that suck? =( Okay anyways, byyyyye. <3

Be happy and don't hang onto this thing Sarah.

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 20:03:05 GMT

I'm really scared for Sarah. Supposedly she's going to get expelled, and I'm so sad about it.

I know we haven't been as close these past months as we used to be, but I still love you Sarah. I'm so scared for you right now. You're in prison. I'm terrified. I tried to come visit you but they won't let friends visit. Only family can see you, and it's only to get you out, they can't "visit" you really supposedly. I'm so scared Sarah. I hope to God you're making the best of things and at least making some friends while you're there or at least trying not to cry too much. I just want you to know I love you so much and I don't want you to get depressed. I want you to understand what you did was dumb, but I do not want you to regret it or hold onto it for forever. There's nothing you can do to change what happened to you and what's happening now, so you need to be happy and just cope with it. Please Sarah, be well. Don't get bent out of shape please, because it will only cause you more pain and make you sad. I'm so scared Sarah. I know you won't be there long, but this whole situation is just fucked. I'm talking to you like you're there but you're not, I know. I don't know if you're ever going to be able to go online ever again, or for how long, or even if you're able to pick up the phone and call me soon. If you ever read this even in the distant future Sarah, I want you to know how much I love you and I want nothing but for you to just try your hardest to be happy right now.

It sounds like the worst advice a friend can give but it's the only advice I can give you that will help you. You're getting enough shit from your parents and from the school right now as it is, the last thing you want is to get shit from your friends too. Please just worry about your own feelings, don't focus on the mistake you made and what other people are thinking. It doesn't matter what other people think Sarah, it only matters what you think and feel. Your own emotions and feelings are what you have to go through when handling a problem or event in your life. Please, just work on fixing the problem you made, and work on making things right again. That's all you can do for others. Other than that, you need to make yourself happy and just mend your rips that you made in yourself. Fix yourself Sarah, don't fix other people who are hurt or upset by this. After you fix yourself, fix everyone else. You need confidence and strength to handle this. After you're better, everything else will fall into place. If it doesn't fall into place, you try your best to fix it. I know how it is to be in that situation Sarah. Not the law factor, but just as bad as the rest of it.

The only thing you can do to truly get through the situation without ruining yourself is to fix yourself, and worry about fixing everyone else later. They will take care of themselves Sarah, you need to find out yourself and fix the problems you have inside yourself.
This advice sounds so stupid I know Sarah, and I don't even know when/if you're ever going to read this, but please just do what I said. It's the only thing that works Sarah trust me. Don't intentionally hurt people, but you need to fix yourself and help yourself in this situation before you try to make everything else better and normal again. I g2g cuz I don't know who exactly is even going to read this or if they'll even care. I don't care how long this entry was, it was things that you needed to know. Please be safe Sarah. I love you. <3